Seventh-Gay Adventists

I attended an advanced screening yesterday afternoon of an independent documentary called Seventh-Gay Adventists by husband and wife team, Daneen Akers and Stephen Eyer. I was warmly welcomed at the door by what appeared to be regulars to an SDA Kinship meeting, and inside I met the film director couple and heard a little more of their journey with the film. Here’s the trailer:

I sat in a crowded room spotted with prominent Adventists from the area, but was only able to view about 80% the film due to a pressing appointment. It was filmed well and enabled the characters to share their experience and particularly the tension and reality of being gay and Adventist. For those who don’t have gay Adventist friends, it’s worth viewing, however I wish it had developed the issues. It had the potential for so much more. I really think homosexuality needs to be addressed more in Adventism (in the South Pacific) – from a redemptive, compassionate perspective – but I thought the film could have addressed the Biblical perspectives a little more.

I guess I left the film feeling a little more sympathetic to the characters who shared so honestly (and wondering about how many have left the church because of mistreatment), but I don’t think it helped anyone gain deeper insight into what the Word says about the issue. Hey, I’m no expert and obviously have got much to learn and room for growth – so will endeavour to do so with the Bible as my torch and the Spirit as my teacher.

21 Things about Porn.

I saw this online over here and wanted to repost it because I think it’s worthwhile.

Just this morning, a book came across my desk, Eyes of Integrity: The Porn Pandemic and How It Affects You, and I devoured it in a matter of hours, not because it was an “easy read” but because it shares a compelling story that rarely gets talked about – what happens to people who consume or produce pornography, and how they can find hope and help.

It’s written by Craig Gross and Jason Harper, both a part of XXXChurch, a radical kind of rescue outreach into the porn industry and the porn problem as a whole. The book shares dozens of stories of real lives damaged by the power of pornography, as well as the divine rescues that often happen when people turn from porn to God for help.

You’ll read of young men and women trapped by an industry that treats them as merchandise and men and women hiding behind the immense shame of a secret addiction. The book should break your heart, for one reason or another. I found it eye-opening, and it inspired me to share some thoughts on what Pastors (and you, too) need to know about pornography.

1. It’s sin. It’s lust. Lust is sin. It’s mental adultery.
2. It’s everywhere. Half the men in your church are likely exposed to it every week, and some of the women too.
3. It’s a ruthless slavedriver and traps people in shame and secrecy.
4. NOT talking about it with your people does NOT help them.
5. The porn industry is a dark and twisted place, filled with people with souls whom God deeply loves.
6. People who act in pornographic films are people whom God loves.
7. People who produce pornography are people whom God loves.
8. It does NOT encourage more intimacy in marriage – on the contrary, it destroys it.
9. It is NOT victimless. Broken marriages and shattered lives are all around us as evidence.
10. The internet has exploded the number of porn addicts, offering the three deadly “A’s,” making porn accessible, affordable, and anonymous.
11. Pornography is a drug. It triggers chemicals in the brain that create addictions. It offers a temporary high, followed by a crash into guilt and shame. And one kind of pornography is almost always a gateway into something worse.
12. The younger you are when first exposed, the more susceptible you are to addiction as an adult.
13. Pornography WILL cause you to treat people (especially women) like objects and not living souls.
14. Pornography WILL harden your heart.
15. There is hope.
16. Consumers and producers of pornography can find forgiveness of sin in the blood of Jesus and be made righteous and pure by the saving power of God.
17. Those trapped in pornography addictions can be forgiven of what they’ve entertained themselves with.
18. Breaking the cycle is possible, but extremely difficult, as with any addiction.
19. The cover-up is always worse than the crime.
20. The cost of recovery is high, but the cost of not recovering is much higher.
21. You need help. You need help and accountability, without question.

Don’t be a story of tragedy – be a story of hope. If you have a problem with porn, or if you’re involved in the industry in some way, turn to God and reach out for help. He knows where you are. He knows your pain. He knows your shame, and He longs to rescue you! Angels will cheer in heaven if you’ll just turn to Him by faith!

If you’ve failed again and feel God will not forgive you this time, you’re wrong. 1 John 1:9 is an irrevocable promise that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Try Him – He’ll prove Himself a forgiving and gracious God. But also, “flee youthful lusts” and “fight the good fight of faith.” “Take every thought captive” and “put on the whole armor of God.”

In case you missed the link earlier, if you’re not using accountability software, click here.

Be a man

“Men are undercooked”. This was one of the opening comments from Graham Hood, who spoke at Landsborough church a couple of weekends ago. Graham is a Qantas pilot, a relatively new Christian and a man passionate about the need for Godly men who aren’t afraid of being vulnerable and showing their weaknesses. He and his wife Michelle (a qualified counselor) run Mission Serenity from the Gold Coast – offering counseling and public talks which bring healing and restoration from ‘hurts, hang-ups and habits’. Here’s a few other things which Graham shared in his ‘Manhood Matters’ presentation:

• Each day in Australia 5-10 men will suicide (majority are 39-54yrs old)
• 1 in 4 children will be abused sometime in their childhood
• There are a lot of men still acting like boys
• Porn is the largest internet enterprise
• Men are wounded animals
• We need to validate men

I agree with Graham that the SDA church needs healing ministries for people in the world who are lost and hurting and feel they’ve done such terrible things that they’ll never be forgiven’. I don’t know of many SDA churches that run such ministries – but hear Reedy Creek church runs Celebrate Recovery groups. I wonder if such ministries were in place, whether more 25-40′s would be involved in ‘church’, because it certainly would be relevant. I wonder if more fellas would be around too. Again, we’re kinda behind with ministry to and for men – women’s ministry took off a few years ago in Australia – but there’s no equivalent (perhaps it wouldn’t work ‘top down’). Maybe we need to ‘man up’ and join together and start something ourselves.

Got an Itch? Part 2

An article posted online in the Age newspaper by Sarah McKenzie caught my eye a few days ago. She describes a recently banned Brut (men’s deodorant) TV ad which in her view gave this message; “women amount to little more than the sum of their breasts and behind, and men have an entitlement – indeed a duty – to ”share them around” and publicly rate them with their mates“. The comments (366 at the time of this post) to her article are an interesting read in themselves, from women and men who agree with Sarah to those who want her to get off her soapbox, relax and just let ‘boys be boys’.

No doubt Sy Rogers would support Sarah’s views and with me celebrate the news that men’s mag Ralph has released it’s last issue this month.  Whilst some men may be ‘crying into their beers’ over this news, I believe men and women across this country will be better off. In fact, I once saw plain yellow covers with the title of each ‘men’s mag’ placed on top of the scantily clad girls and think this should be the norm. Why? The advertisers know certain images suck people in to look at or buy the magazine – and they know what impact it has on males. I have to deal with the temptation to lust just like anyone else, and think it’s time something was done to stop the tirade of images that are thrown in our face.

Here’s a few thoughts I jotted down from a recent talk by Sy Rogers on this issue:

• If our society wasn’t so obsessed with sexual sin a lot of its ‘issues’ would disappear.
• We (the church) can hardly say penis and vagina whilst the world is indoctrinating us (and our kids).
• Porn makes more $ than sporting events and movies combined.
• You either master your sex drive or it will master you.
• Christians are often told they shouldn’t have problems – and if you do, you’re dirty and sad and bad. That’s not true.
• It’s wishful thinking to believe that all problems go away when you accept Jesus.
• If you’re struggling with sexual sin, admit it then submit it to God (don’t hide from Him, He’s on your side and healing will happen on His timetable not yours).
• Don’t feel bad about coming back and back to the Lord until your issue is solved – it’s the smartest decision you can make in managing your humanity.
• We need intentional discipleship for our kids – to help them discern popular culture.

A lot of young adults are caught up in the lust of the eyes, but don’t talk about it and struggle to find a remedy. How can we change this?

Got an Itch?

I’ve got an itch. It’s been bugging me for the past month. Got a rash too. I have moments – particularly at night – when I just want to scratch. I wake up in the middle of the night scratching too. It feels so good to scratch – well, for a while. I’ve been to the doc 3 times, taken a bunch of pills and tried a bunch of creams, to no avail. Maybe it’s Pharaoh’s curse for goofing around in his tomb. My mum handed me a product last night that eeked me a bit – a gel that I’m supposed to apply to the itchy/rash areas whilst showering. It’s dark green and stinks – pine tar. Yep, tar from the pine tree (and I always thought matches and furniture was their main byproduct). Supposedly they’ve got a range of natural cleansers that will heal your skin issues.

All this talk of wanting to scratch itches and the need for healing brings me back to a conference I attend in Melbourne recently called Careforce Lifekeys.  The church – ‘Careforce’ saw how people had an ‘itch’ and scratched it and well, reaped the rewards of such behaviour. Their website puts it this way:

Walk down any street near your church.   Knock on any 10 doors and you will find marriage dysfunction, separation, divorce, family breakdown, the destructive forces of shame and guilt, performance orientation, addictive cycles, co-dependency, insecurity, self rejection, grief, depression, chemical dependency, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, eating disorders and more.

They set about trialling and developing small group ministries (‘lifekeys’) which would bring healing and recovery to people who were looking for a way out. Ex church-goers joined the general public from the surrounding community in these groups and found people who cared and principles which brought freedom. The ministry has now spread to many countries worldwide.

Now talk of scratching an ‘itch’ is usually related to sex talk – crass sex talk. One speaker at the conference – Sy Rogers – is a man familiar with much of this talk and its related culture. I first heard of Sy when I worked at Papatoetoe in NZ – he was gay and lived as a woman for two years before God intervened and brought the intimacy, healing and truth that he was yearning for. Sy is perhaps the most bold, articulate and fast-talking speaker I’ve ever heard. He says the ‘church’ needs to talk more openly about sexual issues of all kinds, and by not doing so (and showing God’s path through the sexual challenges of life) we’re letting culture and the Devil have their way with our lives. If you’d like a copy of his talk from the weekend let me know.

The SDA church appears quiet on ‘itching’ issues still. I know of only a few churches that address the stumbling blocks of life and even fewer have ministries which see healing come to ‘churchies’ and the wider community. We need to change this. I know there are lots of men – young, old, SDA, agnostic, whatever – that struggle in silence with lust, porn, fantasy, and dissatisfaction. Fellas don’t talk about this stuff much at all – and many are confused about God’s standards and what is good for them. Groups like xxxchurch.com and Celebrate Recovery are doing well to get people talking, facing the reality of their brokenness and experiencing the healing that comes from their Creator. Jesus is still in the healing business. I need to bring the true ‘Balm in Gilead‘ to my friends and neighbours – before more damage is done.

To be continued…

Time to tame the tiger in you?

Tiger Woods has been getting a serve in the media the past week or so due to his admission of ‘transgressions’ and the increasing number of females jumping on his alleged mistresses’ list. Even Hugh Hefner has chimed in on the discussion stating that Tiger’s actions are no surprise, and that monogamy lasting forever is a wish and marriage is just a nice convenience for raising kids.

Putting Tiger’s actions and Hugh’s opinions aside – what about you? Are you capable of making the mistakes tiger appears to have made? Do you understand enough about yourself – your nature, desires and faults – to live in this world with sexual integrity as a follower of Jesus? I’ve been led to 2 great resources lately which have stretched my understanding and I think you’ll find them very useful – even liberating:

• A book “From Good Man to Valiant Man” by Dr Allen Meyer (particularly for the fellas); and
• A DVD from Mark Gungor called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” (for guys/girls/singles/couples)

Be encouraged today – and why not pray for Tiger and his fam. Our failings give an opportunity to receive and share His mercy.